Bukan, saya bukannya mau cerita tentang seremnya malam jum'at kliwon. Bukan pula mau ramal-meramal ala primbon. Kliwon memang salah satu nama hari dalam kalender Jawa kuno, seperti pahing, wage, legi, dan pon. Di kampung saya, kliwon identik dengan nama hewan peliharaan yang imut-imut seperti kucing atau kelinci, yang kebetulan brojol di hari kliwon. Tapi, Kliwon yang mau saya ceritakan ini adalah nama panggilan (kesayangan) salah satu rekan dari FB team, yang silly-nya naudzubillah paling suka ngelawak. Kenapa dipanggil kliwon, saya juga kurang tahu sejarahnya dan asal muasalnya dari mana. Yang saya tahu, nama aslinya Kartika. Iya, ini mah nama cewek kalau di Jawa, tapi di Bali umum jadi nama laki-laki juga. Atau mungkin gara-gara namanya yang mirip nama cewek itulah makanya dia dibully, entahlah!

Saya sendiri sebenarnya kurang begitu mengenal Kliwon karena kami bekerja di section yang berbeda (saya di Front office dan dia di Food and Beverage service). Tapi beberapa rekan saya di FO (termasuk anak-anak training) kelihatannya dekat sekalidengan Kartika alias Kliwon ini,karena saya lihat, merekasemangat sekali mem-bully si Kliwon. Bukan bully dalam artian perundungan yang jahat, namun lebih ke bercanda atau iseng yang tidak menyakiti atau harmful. Caranya sih, dengan nelpon-nelpon iseng, nyomblang-nyomblangin dia ke anak-anak training lain, sampai malakin dia untuk bekrja sama ngembat breakfast. Oooppss!

Teman-teman banyak yang bilang kalau Kliwon ini orangnya konyol sekali. Saya yang mulanya cuek dan mendengarkan sambil lalu kurang begitu peduli dengan Kliwon, hingga salah satu anak training saya, Trishna, ceritatentang betapa ajaibnya si Kliwon ini. Dua hari saya sakit dan absen kerja, Thrisna sampai rajin kirim pesan di whatsapp menanyakan kapan saya akan kembali bekerja, karena ia sudah tak sabar ingin bercerita tentang Kliwon.

Jadi ceritanya, Trishna membantu Ami menghandle tamu yang akan check in. Tamunya orang lokal, ibu-ibu paruh baya dari Jakarta. Kebetulanpada saat itu, kamar belum siap karena tamu yang sebelumnya baru saja check out. Sedangkan saat itu memang occupancy sedang tinggi sehingga memang tidak ada kamar lain yang kosong. Si Ibu mulai ngomel-ngomel karena kamar belum siap padahal ia datang di jam check in yang sudah dijanjikan. Amipun berinisiatif menawari tamunya minum, berharap marahnya sedikit mereda.

"Ibu, sambil menunggu kamarnya dibersihkan, barangkali mau minum dulu?" Ini Ami nawarin tamunya minum.

Si Ibu manyun sih, tapi akhirnyamengangguk juga.

"Mau teh atau kopi?" tawarnya lagi.

"Punya teh apa?"

"Ada Jasmine, Darjeeling, green tea, Camomile, English break.."

"Jasmine aja deh." Si Tamu ini memotong Ami yang sedang sibuk hafalan nama-nama teh.

Si Ami tersedak.  

Ami lalu meminta Thrisna untuk order teh. Kebetulan yang jaga di restoran saat itu si Kliwon. 

"Kliwon, tolong satu jasmine tea ya buat ibu yang di lobby itu." si Trishna order.

Si Kliwon menoleh sebentar ke arah Trishna, ke arah tamu, lalu mengangguk.

Lima belas menit kemudian...

Si Trishna merasa ada sesuatu yang tidak beres.  Si Ibu-ibu itu kok ngeliatin ke Ami terus, ya? Dan ngomonglah si Trishna ke Ami..

"Mbak Ami, itu kok ibu-ibu itu ngeliatin terus ke mbak Ami, ya?"

"Perasaan tadi sudah aku bilangin deh kamarnya jadi setengah jam lagi."

"Tehnya sudah?" tanya Ami lagi.

Trishna mengangguk. 

"Sudah. Tadi order sama Kliwon."

Si Ami merasa sepertinya ada yang tidak beres. Mungkin si Ibu ini perlu sesuatu, tapi tak mau bilang. Dan Amipun beinisiatif menghampiri ibu tersebut. 

"Maaf, Ibu. Saya baru saja cek ke housekeeping, dan  kamarnya masih on progress. Perkiraan sekitar 15 menit lagi."

Si Ibu mengangguk, dan si Ami tak sengaja melihat ke arah meja si Ibu. Ada cup sih, tapi... isinya tea bag! Iya, tea bagnya gitu aja gak pake air!!!

Dan si Ami langsung nyembur ke Kliwon,

"Kliwooonnnn!!!! Diseduh won, diseduh. Kok dikasih tehnya aja?"

Si Ibu nyengir asem ke arah Ami. Dan Ami nyengir malu. Maluuuuu...!!!!

Dan saya ngakak sejadi-jadinya. Untung, untung.. banget waktu itu yang in charge Ami dan bukan saya. Hahahahaha.

Cerita selanjutnya, ada tamu yang salah pencet nomor extension. Si tamu sih niatnya telpon housekeeping meminta supaya handuknya diganti, tapi malah pencet extension room service dimana saat itu yang jaga si Kliwon. Ya namanya tamu dong, mana dia tahu kalau room service itu artinya memesan makanan yang diantar ke kamar, bukan minta pelayanan housekeeping untuk 'menservis kamar'. Meski tamu salah pencet, tapi kami di departemen apapun wajib handle request lalu kontak departemen yang terkait untuk dilakukan follow up. 

Tak lama, si tamu nelpon ke reception dan komplain.

"Hi, I was calling earlier asking room service to get me 2 bath towel,, but he came to me and get me 6butter."

Nah, lo?! Bath towel, Kliwonnn... bukan butter!!!

Yang bikin saya ngakak sampai kram, saat mendengar cerite terakhir si Thrisna yang masih antusias cerita sambil nangis-nangis menahan tawa.

Jadi suatu hari, si Kliwon ini sedang berada di lantai lima, mengantar pesanan room service. Ketika akan masuk lift, dilihatlah DVD player milik hotel di dekat lift itu.  - Jadi DVD player kalau di hotel kami sistemnya dipinjamkan ke tamu jika mereka request. Kadang-kadang, ada saja tamu yang main tarok DVD player di depan pintu jika selesai dipakai -- Nah, karena si Kliwon ini staff yang baik, niatnya sih dia kasih tahu sama anak FO supaya DVD yang tergeletak sembarangan itu segera diamankan. Jadilah dia kontak anak FO lewat HT.
"FO monitor..!"
Kebetulan si Trishna ini sedang ada di lokasi, dan langsung nyautin panggilan si Kliwon.
"FO masuk..!"
" Ada DVD di lantai lima ini FO." Katanya si Kliwon.
"Ada di kamar berapa DVDnya?" Si Trishna menyahut.

"Ada di.. mmmm... depan staff only!" kata si Kliwon.

Si Trishna langsung bengong. Staff only? Apaan sih?
"Staff only sebelah elevator."  Tambahnya lagi.
Alamakkkk!!!! Langsung saja Kliwon dibully orang-orang pembawa HT di seantero hotelyang kebetulan mendengar percakapan ini. Trishna ketawa sampai sakit perut, dan saya yang kebagian diceritani juga sampai kram perut!!!

P.S:  Yang dimaksud sama Kliwon itu adalah pantry housekeeping di dekat elevator  yang biasanya dipakai sebagai gudang penyimpanan troli dan alat-kebersihan milik housekeeping. Dan memang sih di pintunya ada tulisan "Staff only", maksudnya supaya tamu gak salah masuk. Berikut penampakan dari staff only tersebut:

 ......

I am not going to talk about scary urban legend story like ‘Malam Jum’at Kliwon’ that was very popular amongs Indonesian. This is also not a life prediction or fortune telling as Javanese are believing in ‘primbon’. Yes, Kliwon is indeed one of the names of days in the ancient Javanese calendar, such as Pahing, Wage, Legi, and Pon. In my village in East Java region, Kliwon is usually used as a pet name like cat or rabbit if they happened to be born on kliwon day. But this time, the Kliwon that I want to talk about is actually a nickname of one of  my colleague from  F&B team, who is really a silly person, hence making him so funny and attracting other people to make a joke out of him. It is still remained as a mystery on why he was called this way. His real name is Kartika, a girl's name if it is in Java, but in Bali it is quite common that males got this name, too. Or maybe because it sounds like a girl’s name so that’s why he got kind of get bullied. 

Me, I didn’t really knowing him in person because we worked in a different department (I'm at  Front office and he is at Food and Beverage or F&B service). But some of my colleagues at front office (including my trainees), they seem to be very close to Kartika or  Kliwon, because I could see that they are very enthusiastic about bullying Kliwon. Not bully in the term of doing a violence of any forms, nor insulting him whatsoever. People are just making a non-harmful joke and no one gets hurt. Kliwon seems to be happy to be called this way, I guess. One day he introduced himself as Kliwon during a formal meeting. Kliwon himself is a cheerful guy, looking very happy and stress free-type. Very kind and cooperative when it comes to helping us ‘stealing’ breakfast from the buffet counter, where he is working. 

Many friends say that Kliwon is very silly. I was quite ignorant and only listened a little bit when people talk about him. Until one day, one of my trainee, Trishna, told me about how silly Kliwon was. I was on a sick leave for 2 days, and Thrisna insisted to send a message on whatsapp asking when I would return to work, because she couldn’t wait to tell me about Kliwon.

So the story began when Trishna helped Ami handle the guest who was going to check in. Her name is Hana, local guest, looks middle-aged women, and she came from Jakarta. Unfortunately, the room assigned for her was not ready yet. There was no other vacant room available because hotel was fully booked that day. The guest looked so upset and began to grumbled, then started to complain. Ami tried to explain that the hotel was fully booked, promised her that housekeeping will be doing their best effort to make the room ready for her in 30 minutes. She took her to Sofa then offered her something to drink to calm her down, a bit.

"While waiting for the room, would you like to have some coffee or tea?” Ami offered.

The guest still frowned but she nodded, eventually.

"Tea, please." She replied.

"We have Jasmine, Darjeeling, green tea, Camomile, English ..."

"Just jasmine." She cut Ami who was busy memorizing the names of the tea.

Ami choked.

Ami asked Thrisna to order tea for miss Hana. And Kliwon was the waiter in charge in the restaurant at that time. 

"Kliwon, one jasmine tea for the guest in the lobby, please." Trishna ordered.

Kliwon turned briefly to Trishna, to the guest, then nodded.

Fifteen minutes later ...

Trishna felt that miss Hana kept staring at Ami for quite sometimes. She was worry that guests may be impatient to wait for her room then told Ami about it.

"Ami, have you told miss Hana how much longer she has to wait for the room? She does look impatient as she kept staring at you."

"Yes I have told her that her room will be ready in half an hour. So it will be another 15 minutes." Ami explained.

"By the way, have you ordered the tea?" Ami asked again.

Trishna nodded.

"I did. Kliwon took the order."

Ami went herself and check if the order has been prepared properly. And also she would like to do some guest courtesy.

"Excuse me, Miss Hana. I just have checked the room, and housekeeping reported that it is still in progress and estimated to be done in around 15 minutes time.”

Miss Hana nodded without saying a thing.  Ami accidentally looked at her table. There's a cup, but, only one poor dry tea bag in it! No water, nor teapot with hot water.

Ami apologized for the tea then immediately made a complaint into Kliwon as she reached the reception counter.

"Kliwooonnnn !!!! You should have brewed the tea! No one on the earth can drink tea without water!”

Ami lost her face to miss Hana. When room was ready, she asked Thrisna to escort her to her room instead. It must be super embarrassing for Ami. And I secretly feel relieve that I am not at Ami’s position at time.

Next story, there was a guest who pressed the wrong extension number button. The guest’s intention was to call housekeeping asking for new fresh towel to be replaced, but guest pressed room service extension instead, where Kliwon was on duty at that time. Being a guest, sometimes they don’t quite understand the terminology of ‘room service’. For us as a hotel staff, room service means guest is ordering foods to be delivered to their room. Meanwhile for those who asked housekeeping to clean up their room, it is often called ‘room makeup’. But who cares? Guest is guest and they do not need to know any of these. For the sake of being professional, it is a mandatory to handle each guest’s inquiry accordingly, or contact relevant department to do a follow up.

Shortly, the guest called reception and complained.

"Hi, I was calling earlier asking room service to get me 2 bath towels, but he came to me and get me 6 butters."

Oh my! Kliwon misheard 2 bath towel in to 6 butters! I die laughing, my stomach hurts but that is not the end of it. Trishna is about to tell the next story.

So one day, Kliwon was on the fifth floor, delivering a room service order. When he was about to get back to restaurant by elevator, he saw a neglected DVD player on the floor. In our hotel, DVD is not included in the room. It is available on request. When guest has finished using it, they can return it to Front Office or just leave it and housekeeping or Reception will come and collect. Kliwon intended to inform Front Office to collect the neglected DVD. So he grabbed his handy talky and start contacting FO.

"FO monitor ..!"

Trishna was on duty that time. As she heard someone called FO, so she immediately responded,

"FO in ...!"

"There's a DVD on fifth floor. Please collect immediately." Kliwon said.

"Where is the exact location?" Trishna replied.

"It's in ... mmmm ... in front of staff only!" Kliwon said.

Staff only? What the heck is that?

"Staff only next to the elevator." Kliwon added.

Doesn’t take too long, Kliwon was bullied by HT carriers throughout the hotel who overheard this conversation. Trishna laughed until her tears dripping down, and my stomach got cramped!

P.S: What Kliwon meant by ‘staff only’ is a signage to a door for housekeeping storage near elevator where usually used to keep housekeeping cleaning tools.